The Magic of Dark Love

The Magic of Dark Love

By Dr. Cassandra George Sturges, MA, MA

We have all been there before. If you haven’t perhaps one day you shall visit. Those who have been there-- never return--and those who haven’t… have never experienced true love.

The Magic of Dark Love can only be detected by a heart that has never been broken, a soul that has never been lied to, and a faith that has never been tested. You will only experience the intensity of this rich, decadent, passionate love once in a life time because it is literally impossible for you to ever be that innocent, trusting, and naïve again.

Signs of Dark Love

If you are with someone who does not call or come when they say they will and you have learned how to accept and make excuses for their lack of consistency and reliability you are enraptured in Dark Love. If you are in a relationship with someone who is physically or emotionally abusing you but you are happier with them than without them-- you are in dark love.

Even though your family and friends have warned you to stay away from this person, and your rational mind tells you every day that you should break up with them or not go back to them for some reason your heart won’t let you leave spiritually entangled in dark love.

If you are waiting on a man or woman who promises to leave their spouse or significant other when the time is right- turn on the light and wakeup- you are in dark love.

The Magic of Dark Love Casted a spell on me

My first official boyfriend was verbally and emotionally abusive. Looking back, I am not sure if I loved him or did not love myself. He was extremely jealous and possessive and I was complimented by his insanity because he made me feel beautiful and special. He broke up with me frequently and I would cry myself to sleep playing the song “Wrapped around your Finger” by The Police. The night I won a beauty contest, he called me a tramp and broke up with me. I walked 7 blocks in the pouring rain at 2 am in the morning, in my white cowgirl boots,with my Ms. September sash wrapped around my torso and begged him to please take me back. And he did over and over again. I loved him until the magic was gone.

I want to talk to you about why I loved him. I didn’t love him because he was kind, faithful, or honest; I loved him because I hated myself and I thought no one else would love me. I hated my dark skin, at that time my flat boobs, my thick ankles, the gap between my teeth, and my loud laugh that sounds like a human elephant. No matter what he said to me or how bad he treated me, I thought I was lucky to have him. He wasn’t in jail, and he didn’t have a record or kids.

The more I learned to accept my body and love myself the more I was able to see that he didn’t love me because I didn’t love me.

The Purpose of Dark Love

If you shed light on Dark Love you will see that it has an exquisite, complex divine purpose that allows you to create your love karma. Your first and most important task would be to define who you are as a sexual being. Sometimes a person is not aware of their sexual orientation whether they are heterosexual, homosexual, or somewhere in the middle until they have fallen madly in love with another person. Some people need to be in an open sexual relationship, or have several partners. Sexual chemistry is very important in a healthy relationship. You can be physically aroused by a person’s body, but bored by their intellect and sense of humor. 

Some people struggle because they are sexually turned on by a person who has a chiseled abs, and look like a super model but this same person does not stimulate them mentally because they lack an interest in politics, science, or current events. For many men, the woman that he wants to have children with and take home to his family is not the woman that he wants to tie up and ravish her body with kisses before making passionate love to her. This may be the root cause of many sexual affairs. There are many facets to our personalities and finding someone to love with the right combination of interests and physical characteristics can be difficult. When you are in a relationship be honest with yourself and ask the tough questions: Am I happy with this person before, during, and after sex? Am I asking for physical requirements that I am not personally willing to live up to? Am I being honest about what turns me on sexually?

"Man, I simply love her"

This will give you the psychological tools to establish your emotional core values and determine the boundaries of how much of yourself you are willing to give away or exchange for something of equal value. The worst thing that you can do in a relationship is require someone to change to meet your needs. It is not fair to that person. They have right to be who they are and you have a right to be true to yourself.  Do you mind if a person drinks alcohol, smoke tobacco and or marijuana? 

Do you mind if your mate has a flirtatious personality or is always the life of the party? A person who is naturally flirtatious would be miserable with a person who is jealous-hearted and insecure. Do you mind if your partner likes to frequent night clubs, bars, or brothels? Do you want someone who pays all or some of the household bills? Is it important for your mate to get along with your family and accompany you to plays or baby showers? 

How much time do you need alone to recharge your battery? Do you want to cook most meals and enjoy house chores? Do you mind if your mate has children from a previous relationship? Can you really love someone else’s children? Do you need a man who opens your car door and answers your phone call on the first ring? If so, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, just be honest about what you are willing to give him in return. Everything has a price. Are you capable of paying for what you are demanding from the other person?

Once your soul has traveled through the valley of dark love and put together all of the tiny shattered pieces of your broken heart-- only then will you begin to position yourself to attract and take part in a healthy relationship in the future. The magic spell of dark love is designed to teach the essence of one lesson—and one lesson only…you are the common denominator in every relationship, the other person is never, ever, ever, ever the problem—you attract to yourself who and what you are. The person you are with is there to shine the light on and project your deepest and darkest thoughts and secrets about yourself to yourself so that you can see yourself clearly-- and choose whether or not to change.