Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Double Standard of Why Women Cheat



Women's Infidelity and cheating is caused by the double standard between men and women.  Women believe that if a woman engages in sex outside of the committed relationship it is because "the man is not being man enough" to keep her within the boundaries of their love.

Jungle Beauty Goddess Kalahari -  Inspirational Life Story
Ruler of the Heart, Love, & Relationships
Via the Imagination of Cassandra George Sturges
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Dear Jungle Beauty Goddess Kalahari,

I am devastated because I just found out that my wife has been having an affair with the man next door for 18 months. I viewed him as a friend of the family and he was allowed to visit and call liberally. I knew he was a handsome lady’s man but I never felt intimidated by him because I have always trusted my wife unequivocally. 

But the truth is-- I don’t know if I really trusted my wife or that I was raised and conditioned by society to believe that women do not cheat on men. End of story. My father constantly cheated on my mom. She would find out, cry, and threaten to leave him. He would beg for her forgiveness; promise her that he would never cheat again, and buy her some ridiculously expensive gift. They stayed married for 42 years until my father’s death.

I have cheated on my wife once or twice… nothing serious—but isn’t this the way nature created men and not women?


I don’t know whether I want to kill myself, the man next door, my wife or the three of us. But this is the most heart-wrenching thing that has ever happened to me.  How could my wife let this man inside of her…body…heart? I feel violated and emasculated as a man.

My wife has moved out and is staying with a friend; while we are attending marriage counseling. I love her and I hope we can get past her affair.  But I need to wrap my head around why this happened to me. Am I not satisfying her sexually? Am I not a good provider?

But my question to you is: Why do women cheat? They don’t have high levels of testosterone challenging their fidelity. What on earth could make a woman cheat on a man and have the audacity to tell him” it was just sex, it didn’t mean anything.”

Sincerely,

Feeling Betrayed,


Dear Feeling Betrayed:


Infidelity has nothing to do with whether or not a human has a penis or vagina. Both men and women have cheated on each other in committed relationships since the beginning of human history. Human culture around the world is more punitive and violent towards women who cheat; therefore, women have over time developed the ability to be more secretive, smarter, and tactful about their own infidelity.






Traditionally and historically speaking, the collective masculine energy of men have been more sexually unfaithful to the collective feminine energy of women causing heartache, pain, and suffering in families around the world. The best way to say this is: From a karmic perspective, all men owe an emotional debt to all women in terms of experiencing what if feels like to have your most intimate trust violated in a committed relationship. When a human physically engages in a sexual relationship outside of their marriage this is not merely a physical act that causes emotional damage and mistrust to their faithful partner; this is a direct act of violence—maybe even death—based on the type of sexually transmitted infection that the cheating partner contracts and passes on to their mate.

Sexual energy is the most powerful energy in the universe. It is the creative force of human life. When this energy is disrespected and dishonored the consequences are detrimental to humanity. Once both the masculine and feminine energy has learned the spiritual lessons of what it feels like to be faithful and unfaithful in all aspects; infidelity and cheating will become rare moral issues in human marriages and relationships.

Women cheat as much as men do in modern day society; however they label their behavior differently. Instead of admitting to having an affair, a woman will say, "If he had been a good man, I would not have been forced into becoming a cheating girlfriend or wife." If a woman cheats-- even when talking to her girlfriends-- she will always blame her behavior on her male partner for one reason or another. Because of the male and female double standard, women believe that if a woman engages in sex outside of the relationship it is because "the man is not being man enough" to keep her within the boundaries of the relationship.


Another reason that women are cheating on men more now than in the past is due to an increase in the production of the dominate male hormone testosterone. Testosterone is a hormone that causes aggression, assertiveness, and competitive behavior. Now that more women are the primary breadwinner in families this causes her body to produce more testosterone in order to compete in a changing work environment. Spiritually and physically women are taking on more male characteristics in every aspect of their lives. Additionally, men are becoming more feminine cooking, doing the laundry, caring for the children, or being the stay-at-home father in general. 



Sexual infidelity is a very narrow and limiting way of look at relationships. If you analyze your parent's relationship at some level your father was not cheating on your mother. She may not have enjoyed having sexual relations with him and he was forced to seek this primary need outside of the marriage. At a subconscious level, your mother might have approved of your father’s behavior as long as he continued to provide for her financially. Your father may have needed your mother’s support in terms of providing a stable home with clean clothes and healthy home cooked meals. Human gender roles are very complex behavior patterns.

Before you can truly determine if someone is cheating on you sexually, you have to make sure that you share the same value system. If a person engages in the exact same behavior as you do—logically how can you say this person has cheated on you? This is an even exchange. Cheating is when you pay for one thing and get something else of less value. You admitted that you cheated on her once or twice; how could you at a spiritual level expect anything more than you have invested in the relationship. Life always seeks balance. 

Sincerely

Jungle Beauty Goddess Kalahari

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