My Husband is in Love with Another Woman

Dear Jungle Beauty Goddess Kalahari,

I believe with all of my heart that my husband is in love with another woman. I don’t have any proof. He always comes home on time. No money is missing from our bank accounts. He is always where he says he is going to be. The sex is still amazing between us--- accept when he is making love to me, I feel like he is suckling the breasts of a woman with much bigger breasts than my own. When he kisses my buttocks he massages my butt cheeks as if they are extremely large. I am a very petite woman.  He makes love to me passionately, but it feels like he is making love to someone else.

I have asked my husband whether or not he was having an affair with his co-worker who is a very beautiful and voluptuous woman—but he completely denied it and was very offended by me asking him this question. He said that he has never cheated on me and that he never will.

Jungle Beauty Goddess Kalahari, everyone thinks that I am crazy when I try to explain to them that I know that my husband is in love with another woman even though I have no physical evidence.  Do you think that I am insecure about my body and imagining that he is making love to another woman? He is otherwise a good husband, father, and provider.

I can’t keep this up. I am starting to resent having sex with him because I feel like his kisses belong to another woman.

Please help me.

Sincerely,

Still in love

Dear Still-in-love,

If you feel in your heart that your husband is in love with another woman—believe your heart. Your heart will never lie to you. It sounds like your husband is having an emotional affair with another woman that he may or may not be aware of. I don’t believe that your husband is “in love” with this woman, but it does sound like he is sexually attracted to her.

The in-love emotion that you are describing is a neurological chemical elixir of neurotransmitters that saturate the human brain taking the same neurological pathway as cocaine or dopamine. The in-love feeling typically last a very short period. Humans cannot control these feelings, but they can control whether or not they choose to act on these feeling.

From your letter it sounds like your husband has not physically consummated his sexual desire for this other woman ; but is projecting his sexual attraction to her while making love to you. To some degree this is what people do when they view naked people in sexual positions to enhance sex with their partner.

Your husband loves you, but you need to change your sexual routine with him so that his brain is not free to think of other women. When you take the same route to work, you stop looking at the scenery. You start thinking about other tasks. But a person who is driving your route to work for the first time will pay close attention to the scenery because their brain is engaged in the novelty of the new environment.

There are some things that you can do to get your husband’s mind back on you. Change your hairstyle and or color. Do some type of outside activity that forces the both of you to breathe deeply.  Go for a walk in a dense forest to cleanse your spirit. Men are visual beings.

I don’t think that you need to worry about him straying from home, but this is just a sign that there is room for an improvement in your physical relationship with your husband. This is part of the human experience. It is very wise of you to notice these signs.

Jungle Beauty Goddess Kalahari

Transmitted via Cassandra George Sturges

For entertainment purposes