The Magic of Dark Love
By Dr. Cassandra George Sturges, MA, MA
We have all been there before. If you haven’t perhaps one
day you shall visit. Those who have been there-- never return--and those who
haven’t… have never experienced true love.
The Magic of Dark Love can only be detected by a heart that
has never been broken, a soul that has never been lied to, and a faith that has
never been tested. You will only experience the intensity of this rich,
decadent, passionate love once in a life time because it is literally
impossible for you to ever be that innocent, trusting, and naïve again.
Signs of Dark Love
If you are with someone who does not call or come when they
say they will and you have learned how to accept and make excuses for their
lack of consistency and reliability you are enraptured in Dark Love. If you are
in a relationship with someone who is physically or emotionally abusing you but
you are happier with them than without them-- you are in dark love.
Even though your family and friends have warned you to stay
away from this person, and your rational mind tells you every day that you
should break up with them or not go back to them for some reason your heart
won’t let you leave spiritually entangled in dark love.
If you are waiting on a man or woman who promises to leave
their spouse or significant other when the time is right- turn on the light and
wakeup- you are in dark love.
The Magic of Dark Love
Casted a spell on me
My first official boyfriend was verbally and emotionally
abusive. Looking back, I am not sure if I loved him or did not love myself. He
was extremely jealous and possessive and I was complimented by his insanity
because he made me feel beautiful and special. He broke up with me frequently
and I would cry myself to sleep playing the song “Wrapped around your Finger”
by The Police. The night I won a beauty contest, he called me a tramp and broke
up with me. I walked 7 blocks in the pouring rain at 2 am in the morning, in my
white cowgirl boots, and with my Ms. September sash wrapped around my torso and
begged him to please take me back. And he did over and over again. I loved him
until the magic was gone.
I want to talk to you about why I loved him. I didn’t love
him because he was kind, faithful, or honest; I loved him because I hated
myself and I thought no one else would love me. I hated my dark skin, at that
time my flat boobs, my thick ankles, the gap between my teeth, and my loud
laugh that sounds like a human elephant. No matter what he said to me or how
bad he treated me, I thought I was lucky to have him. He wasn’t in jail, and he
didn’t have a record or kids.
The more I learned to accept my body and love myself the
more I was able to see that he didn’t love me because I didn’t love me.
The Purpose of Dark
Love
If you shed light on Dark Love you will see that it has an exquisite,
complex divine purpose that allows you to create your love karma. Your first
and most important task would be to define who you are as a sexual being.
Sometimes a person is not aware of their sexual orientation whether they are
heterosexual, homosexual, or somewhere in the middle until they have fallen
madly in love with another person. Some people need to be in an open sexual
relationship, or have several partners. Sexual chemistry is very important in a
healthy relationship. You can be physically aroused by a person’s body, but
bored by their intellect and sense of humor.
Some people struggle because they are sexually turned on by
a person who has a chiseled abs, and look like a super model but this same
person does not stimulate them mentally because they lack an interest in
politics, science, or current events. For many men, the woman that he wants to
have children with and take home to his family is not the woman that he wants
to tie up and ravish her body with kisses before making passionate love to her.
This may be the root cause of many sexual affairs. There are many facets to our
personalities and finding someone to love with the right combination of
interests and physical characteristics can be difficult. When you are in a
relationship be honest with yourself and ask the tough questions: Am I happy
with this person before, during, and after sex? Am I asking for physical
requirements that I am not personally willing to live up to? Am I being honest
about what turns me on sexually?
This will give you the psychological tools to establish your
emotional core values and determine the boundaries of how much of yourself you
are willing to give away or exchange for something of equal value. The worst
thing that you can do in a relationship is require someone to change to meet
your needs. It is not fair to that person. They have right to be who they are
and you have a right to be true to yourself.
Do you mind if a person drinks alcohol, smoke tobacco and or
marijuana?
Do you mind if your mate has a flirtatious personality or is
always the life of the party? A person who is naturally flirtatious would be
miserable with a person who is jealous-hearted and insecure. Do you mind if
your partner likes to frequent night clubs, bars, or brothels? Do you want
someone who pays all or some of the household bills? Is it important for your
mate to get along with your family and accompany you to plays or baby showers?
How much time do you need alone to recharge your battery? Do
you want to cook most meals and enjoy house chores? Do you mind if your mate
has children from a previous relationship? Can you really love someone else’s
children? Do you need a man who opens your car door and answers your phone call
on the first ring? If so, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this, just be
honest about what you are willing to give him in return. Everything has a
price. Are you capable of paying for what you are demanding from the other
person?
Once your soul has traveled through the valley of dark love and
put together all of the tiny shattered pieces of your broken heart-- only then
will you begin to position yourself to attract and take part in a healthy relationship
in the future. The magic spell of dark love is designed to teach the essence of
one lesson—and one lesson only…you are the common denominator in every
relationship, the other person is never, ever, ever, ever the problem—you
attract to yourself who and what you are. The person you are with is there to
shine the light on and project your deepest and darkest thoughts and secrets
about yourself to yourself so that you can see yourself clearly-- and choose
whether or not to change.
