Fifty Shades of Grey Spiritual Lessons

Fifty Shades of Grey Spiritual Lessons

 By Cassandra George Sturges

Fifty Shades of Grey is probably my favorite book in the world—but not for the reasons that most people may think. Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele’s sexual relationship was mildly entertaining to me. It’s not that I am a prude—it was simply just sex—how many mammals emotionally connect and reproduce—a necessary part of the book that demonstrates their electrical chemical attraction for each other. The real magic is in the love-story and I am a love-story fanatic.

What astounded me was the self-transformational journey through the healing power of true unconditional love. Although Anastasia was financially poor, untraveled, and lacked sexual experience—she was emotionally and psychologically rich. Christian’s love gave Anastasia an opportunity to see how strong and wise she really was. On the other hand, Christian was financially wealthy, had been everywhere, owned everything—but his soul was broken and empty. Anastasia’s love allowed Christian to express his vulnerability and heal his childhood wounds.

There were several spiritual lessons that resonated with me in Fifty Shades of Grey that I want to share with you.

Fifty Shades of Grey Spiritual Lesson # 1: Wanting More is a Good Thing

Anastasia’s desire for “more” tugged at the depths of my soul. All humans have a desire for more in some area of their life. Some people want more health, more friends, more children, more fun, more love, more money, more homes, more cars, more clothes, more hit records, more business opportunities, more acting roles,— I could go on forever.

Wanting More is not a small thing. In fact, it is your soul telling you not to settle for less than you deserve. It is your soul reminding you that you are worth more; and that your current situation is not in alignment with your true value.

If you are not earning the money or respect that, you feel that you deserve on your job—you probably have a voice that is telling you every day that you deserve more. Listen to that voice. Update your resume. Start applying for a new job today.

If your More voice is begging you to go back to school to get a degree or learn a trade—take heed. This is your soul telling you that you have more to contribute to yourself and society. It is pushing you to be all that you can be.

The most important thing you can do is make sure that you define what more means for you. It means something different to every human on the planet. If you don’t know what type of More you are really looking for –you won’t recognize it when it comes.

Anastasia knew what she wanted. She didn’t want more clothes, cars, or money. She wanted Christian to open up to her. She wanted him to talk to her. She wanted to touch him. She wanted to wake up next to him. She wanted him to respect her body by not using physical force during lovemaking.

If you don’t know what your “More” is—you won’t know when you find it. I love Anastasia’s determination to never accept less than the “More” that she deserves.

Fifty Shades of Grey Spiritual Lesson # 2: We are all Virgins

Christian and Anastasia were both virgins in different ways. Christian had had sex with many women; but his heart was still a virgin. Spiritually and psychologically, in my opinion, he was more of a virgin than Anastasia. Due to the childhood abuse and neglect afflicted upon him as a young child and the sexual abuse that he experienced as a teenager, an emotional wall protected his heart.

Christian gave women material things such as money, clothes, and cars—so that he wouldn’t have to give them what really mattered—his heart. His love. His trust.

Anastasia was a goddess in waiting. She wasn’t sexually active—not because she was afraid of sex—but the exact opposite. She knew her feminine worth. She wanted intimacy on her terms, with someone that she selected—not some guy who selected her.

If Anastasia had been sexually experienced, I think, like many women, she may have been jaded about men, love, and relationships. Her innocence allowed her to see through the walls surrounding Christian’s heart. Brick by brick—she took Christian’s virginity.

In so many ways, all humans are virgins. The virginity spiritual lesson from Fifty Shades of Grey is to be very cautious about whom you give your virginity to for two reasons: you can never ever get it back; and it will shade your view of the circumstances for the rest of your life.

For example, if you have a friend that you trusted with a secret and they betrayed you—you will never quite look at friendship the same again.

Being a virgin is a spiritual gift. I am referring to all new meaningful life experiences. The secret to giving your virginity away to the right person is knowing that –no matter what the outcome is—you would never want to take that moment back. Be keenly aware of why you are participating in any activity. What do you expect to gain? What are you risking?

Fifty Shades of Grey Spiritual Lesson # 3:

Are you Sleeping Together or “Sleeping” Together

Christian admitted to Anastasia that he had “slept” with several women—but he always “slept” alone in his own bed.

We are never more vulnerable than when we are sleeping. When my children were babies, I watched them sleep. Now that my children are adults, when given the opportunity—I watch them sleep. It’s strange but I want to make sure that they are breathing. If I happen to wake up during the night, I make sure my significant other is breathing.

In many ways, actually sleeping with a person is more intimate and precious than having sexual intercourse with them. When you sleep with someone, you trust him or her to keep your deepest and darkest secrets. If you happen to say or do, something incriminating in your sleep-- you trust that that person will still love you in the morning.

You are never more vulnerable than when you are asleep; and therefore you must trust that the person lying next to you will not, rape, rob, or murder you. Right?

The spiritual lesson in Fifty Shades of Grey about sleeping with someone is that—Sometimes it may appear that a person is giving you everything—but the truth is—they are giving you nothing at all if they don’t trust you. In addition, if they don’t trust you—then what you are sharing with them is meaningless.

Can We Really Change our Race and Gender

Can We Really Change our Race and Gender?

Cassandra George-Sturges

This is a very delicate topic. One of things that I find difficult about the mainstream media is that they seem to force people to take extreme positions of right or wrong, as opposed to analyzing layers of truth in between.

I don’t have a problem with Bruce Jenner referring to himself as Caitlyn Jenner or Rachel Dolezal, the women who is white who is portrays herself  as being African American. I don’t feel that anyone has a right to force their beliefs onto another person—but can this line go both ways.

When I was a little girl, I asked my father to paint me white. I told my father that everybody hate black people. My father cried and said, “Momma, don’t you want to look like the people who love you the most in this world?”

Back in the early 1970s, I wanted to be white because they seemed to have everything. All of my favorite television show characters were white— I loved the Brady Bunch, I had a serious crush on Bill Bixby on the courtship of Eddie’s Father. Although, I lived in a primarily black neighborhood, most of my teachers were white, my doctors were white, --and all of the people whom I interacted with some type of “authority or power”— were white.

As a dark skinned, little black girl, my cousins called me blacky. They told me that I would be much prettier if it were not for my skin color. The kids in school teased me about my dark brown skin color. I tried not to play in the sun, hoping this would lighten my skin complexion—but it didn’t.

I could not understand why my daddy couldn’t see why I needed to be painted white.

The journey of self-discovery and self-love that life inflicted upon me was the purpose of my soul’s incarnation. 

My skin color is not what makes me black. What makes me black is what the world assumes about me—when they see my skin color. What makes me black is the stories my father told me about waking up in the morning in the deep south to see  his  family members  and neighbors hanging from lynching posts that he showed me when I was a little girl. My mother telling me stories of watching the KKK march through the streets of Selma, Alabama. 

My mother told me that the most hurtful thing of all was being able to recognize the voices and the shoes of the KKK members covered with sheets.  She said most of the KKK members were the people they bought groceries from and other so-called respectful people in the community—who smiled in their faces and spoke to them on a daily bases. 

Growing up, neighbors egged our family home and wrote on the sidewalk Niggers Go Back to Africa.

Now that I think about it—I don’t know if the white paint would have made my stay on earth more tolerable.

There is a collective experience to being white that I now understand that I could never relate to. My boyfriend of 20-years who is white has a way of interacting with the world that still blows my mind. If a sign says: Do not walk on the grass; he will walk on the grass slowly and without guilt. While crossing the street if the light is red, he will walk across the street daring cars to hit him. He says, Sandy, “I am the Goddamn pedestrian. I have the right of way. They hit me. They go to jail.” 

 

I feel like if someone hits me, I am dead, and no one will care—maybe even if the light was green.

I live in a world where people who share shades of my skin color are discriminated against. These experiences have shaped my worldview and self-perception beyond my comprehension. 

When I read the story of how enslaved African mothers were required to nurse their master’s children and there was no milk left in their breasts to feed their own children. I sobbed in the Henry Ford Community College library. I cried myself to sleep for three nights .This made an indelible mark on my identity as a black woman. I don’t know if this story would have tugged at my soul with the same fervor if I had been born white or a man.

Nature made me a woman. She provided me with a female reproductive system that allowed me to give birth to my children, nurse them, and a monthly period. However, my gender identity and development as a little girl who grew into a woman started outside of my consciousness. 

Society and my parents gave me a gender role script on how little girls are supposed to conduct themselves; what colors to wear, how to sit…etc. Unlike my two brothers, they told me that it was okay for me to cry when I hurt myself or because I was sad over a commercial. Not to mention, numerous speeches about what it means to be a “young lady as opposed to a “slut.” The gender role script of femininity is ancient, and yet still evolving-- is such a powerful paradigm of reality that defines womanhood to its victims and victors.

I yearned for the same curfew privileges as my brothers, but my parents proclaimed, “Young ladies with class should be home by a reasonable time.”  My job was to fold laundry and wash the dishes. My brothers were required to do yard work and take out the garbage. I got to sit in the front seat and get a $1.50 more in allowance because I was their little sister. 

I read the book, “Are you There God, It’s Me Margaret” and felt that the book was about me. I read it over and over and over again. I will never forget when my breasts first started to develop and I got my first period, and my first bra.

I don’t think it’s my hair, clothes, and lipstick that make me a woman. I don’t think it’s my skin color and hair texture that makes me African American. But I can say that… the things that I cannot change about myself have been my spiritual gifts to humanity. 

I don’t know if I identify with being the female gender because I was born in a woman’s body or because I would have selected to play the role of a woman—no matter if I was born male or female. I don’t know if I would have chosen to be black or African American in a society where we have been enslaved and continue to struggle for equality.

Where am I going with this? I bet at some point Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder, and Helen Keller wished upon a star that they could see again. Stephen Hawking probably wishes that  he could walk again. What if life on this planet is not about changing our Earth Suits that our souls have chosen—but asking our souls what is the spiritual mission of this body—in this time—in this place?

Spiritual Lessons from the Jessie Owens Biopic movie “Race”

Spiritual Lessons from the Jessie Owens Biopic movie “Race”

 
 

By, Cassandra George Sturges

 

The movie Race gave an overview of the political, racial, and ethnic inequality issues surrounding Jesse Owen’s winning four gold medals at the 1936 Berlin Olympic Games. What I found to be most interesting about Jesse Owens’ success was not the four gold medals that he won at the Olympics, but the personal choices he made that led to him becoming a world-class winner. In this article, I will discuss four spiritual lessons that I learned from this movie.

Spiritual Lesson # 1:        Ignore the Background Noise

Some of my favorite scenes in the movie are when Jesse Owen’s character played by Stephan James is verbally attacked with racial slurs by his teammates in the locker room or on the field; his coach, Larry Snyder, played by Jason Sudeikis tells him to ignore them because it is only noise. I think even when the leader from the NAACP asked Owens not to participate in the Olympics to make a political statement against Hitler’s regime against the Jews—was just background noise. I am learning that when you are blessed with a gift or talent, your primary duty on this planet is to own, hone, and share it.

The more you listen to voices outside of your head, such as your family, teachers, friends, social media,… you become disconnected from your own truth. So, when you have an important decision to make, or people are teasing you, or trying to tell you what to do. Silence the background noise and listen to the small quiet voice within your spirit. You are the only person on this planet who knows the best course of action for your life goals.

Spiritual Lesson # 2:  

Chose a Mate who Loves You with or without Money or Fame

In the movie Race, Jessie Owens had broken several records and was becoming a celebrity. One night he was out at a club with his friends and a glamorous woman whom his friends thought was out of their league; came over to the table and asked Jesse to dance with her. Of course, one thing led to another; they became a brief couple and word got back to his girlfriend after a photo of Jesse Owens and the glamorous woman together was released in the newspaper. 

Before Jesse Owens became famous, he had promised his childhood girlfriend, who was also the mother of his child that he would marry her someday. When his childhood girlfriend learns about his affair with the glamorous woman, she broke off their relationship and threatened to sue him for breach of contract. Jesse ended his relationship with the glamorous woman and begged his childhood girlfriend, Minnie Ruth Solomon to marry him. They were married for 45-years until his death in 1980.

I believe that marrying his childhood girlfriend grounded his spirit because she loved him unconditionally. She loved him whether or not he won a race. She loved him with or without money. Sometimes when people acquire a certain level of success they date and marry people who would have never given them the time of day if they were not wealthy or famous. These new people—love the persona of who you have become—but not who you are. And because they don’t really know or love the real you; when it’s time to make the biggest decisions in your life their voices become a part of the background noise. 

After Jesse married Ruth, he went to the Olympics and won four gold medals. But one of the reasons, I think he was able to focus on the Olympics and silence the racial hatred during this time period is because he know the real gold was already at home… his wife who had admired his since middle school.

Spiritual Lesson # 3:        You are your actions

One of things that Jesse’s character said is that, when he was on the field running, he did not feel like his race mattered for those seconds because he felt alive. Whenever I am engaged in a task that I love, I feel immortal. I feel like I am one with creation.  

When you are in alignment with your divine purpose, your race, gender, or sex will not be what people will remember for generations to come—people will remember the essence of you, the footprints of your soul on the timeline of human history.

Spiritual Lesson # 4:        The Back Door is for the Brave 

After Jesse Owens won the four gold medals at the 1936 Olympics, a dinner was held in his honor back home in the United States. The door attendant told Jesse that he could not allow him to enter the Hotel where the celebratory dinner was being held through the front door because he was black. Four-time Olympian Gold, Medalist, Jesse and his wife, Ruth were force to enter the hotel through the back door.

In my opinion, the front door can be over rated. It’s guarded by mainstream society’s ideals, values, and beliefs. It is symbolic of maintaining the status quo. However, the back door represents people who have found their own unique path to their dreams. Harriett Tubman took the back door all the way to the Underground Railroad. 

In the movie, a young white boy, asked for Jesse’s autograph, at the back door. This could have been a Hollywood spin, but the point was that entering the backdoor did not dilute or diminish Jesse Owen’s accomplishments. 

When you know who you are-- and why you are here-- take which ever door is open that will take you to your dreams.

Shonda Rhimes Scandal is Lacking Love

Shonda Rhimes Scandal is Lacking Love

By Cassandra George Sturges

Shonda Rhimes is the only person, I have ever tweeted a personal message. In fact, I learned how to tweet just so that I could tweet her an urgent, urgent message last season—I begged her not to kill Jake Ballard. I don’t think she read my tweet—but that’s not important—because Jake is still on the show. Whew! 

I have never loved any show in my life, the way I love Scandal. I haven’t gone to therapy to figure out why—it just is what it is.

After watching last week’s, Scandal: Wildcard on February 25, 2016, I now understand why Scandal is not as entertaining to me as it was in the past seasons. I need 3 L’s in balance in order to be happy with a book, movie, or television series: Love, Lust, and Loyalty.

Scandal season 5 so far is saturated with Lust. Jake is fucking Olivia Pope or visa versa. Vice President Chief of Staff, Elizabeth North is banging Attorney General, David Rosen--who is giving it to, Vice President, Susan Ross. President Fitzgerald is screwing a reporter. I don’t know what the hell happened to Cyrus Beene’s husband. I don’t find just sex with a script and a political agenda entertaining. It feels hollow.

Too much lust is like too much salt. Without it the food is bland, with too much it’s not edible, the perfect amount brings out the best natural flavors in the food. For me right now, Scandal is too Salty.

Loyalty is lackluster too, so far in season 5 of Scandal. White House Chief of Staff, Cyrus Beene, who is one of my favorite characters on the show, is no longer loyal to the president. It breaks my heart after the episode where they exchanged memories of how much they loved and respected each other.

I must have played it a thousand times. Cyrus shared a story about how he picked the bananas from Fitz’s bowl of fruit because Fitz doesn’t like bananas. You know the episode where Cyrus tells Fitz that he doesn’t remember his mother’s name. Then Fitz tells Cyrus a story about how his moods were affected by whether or not he had received a letter from his mother that day…then at the end Fitz tell Cyrus… your mother’s name was “Helen.” Best writing ever!!! It still brings tears to my eyes.

Shonda Rhimes, after this episode—how could the love and loyalty between Fitz and Cyrus be so nonexistent? I would whether watch them fight—than be nothing to each other.

And what about the deep, soul-mate love that you, led us to believe that was unbreakable between Fitz and Olivia? Again, I need the relationships to be rich, complex, and meaningful.I want to see them make it work with ups and downs. I want to see Fitz cry when he learns that she aborted their unborn fetus. I want to see a big screen movie of their wedding and how he almost went back to Mellie. 

(My bad-- this your story not mine. I need to get to writing the Jungle Beauty Goddesses, Book 3. I am sorry.)

The relationships between the main characters are the foundation for all of the B613, Olivia Pope and Associates client’s ordeals, the elections… I don’t care about those things if the main characters do not have enough love and loyalty to glue the changing episode pieces together. None of the characters seem really happy or passionate anymore. Lust keeps the series juicy and fun, but it is not enough to fill your spirit to continue to watch week after week, and then wait months and months for it to return between seasons… Well unless, you are a hopelessly addicted fan like myself.

Is Oprah Winfrey’s Weight Watchers Commercial fair to the Public?

Is Oprah Winfrey’s Weight Watchers Commercial fair to the Public?

By Cassandra George Sturges

Oprah Winfrey is Black Royalty. I was going to say, African American Royalty but that would be too limiting of a category. Oprah Winfrey’s influence is global. In my home, I have pictures of Oprah Winfrey, President Barack Obama, with his arms wrapped around his super, gorgeous, wife First Lady, Michelle Obama, and Jesus. That’s it. I know Oprah Winfrey is only human, but to me she is an immortal Black Goddess who will inspire billions of people of all races, genders, and nationalities for centuries to come long after her physical body is gone.

I have struggled with whether or not, I should write a blog that criticizes Oprah Winfrey in any way because  one, I love her so much—nothing will ever change that; and two, if I piss her off she will never read my books or interview me for her television show. I have decided that I need to be true to the voice that God has given me. And when I come from a place of honor and respect, I become my highest and best self--and that is all I owe the world.

My duty is to my soul’s authentic expression, not money, celebrities, and/or material wealth.

I am currently enrolled in a class and the first lesson from my now deceased professor, Dr. Leon Masters is: “If I cannot demonstrate it in my own life—then I know nothing.” When I read this, I felt that this was the most soul-stirring, heart-wrenching, and thought-provoking truth I have ever read. I could not stop reading this sentence over and over and over again. 

I need to write it one more time, “If I cannot demonstrate it in my own life—then I know nothing.” Dr. Leon Masters

When I saw Oprah Winfrey’s commercial for Weight Watchers, I was stunned. We have publicly watched Oprah Winfrey struggle with her weight for several decades. Oprah has been celebrated and cherished as not just an ordinary “celebrity” but as someone with “integrity” who has the “Midas Touch.” Whatever product, book, or program Oprah Winfrey endorses becomes the gospel truth…because we believe in her honor and her search for truth.

My personal belief is that all humans are designed to look different with various body sizes and shapes to pursue unique goals, dreams, and purposes. Oprah Winfrey is beautiful but she doesn’t believe it. She was created with the perfect beauty to inspire, motivate, and instill public trust. I wonder if her decision to join and promote weight watchers was because she needs the money or she believes that Weight Watchers is the permanent solution for weight loss...this time. 

Like any other program, Weight Watchers work for some people and not for others. However, when a person with Oprah’s wealth and status promote a product, I think it would be easy for the average person to lose sight of their weight loss goal and be enamored by her affiliation with the company. People don’t care about the product that the Oprah Winfrey is selling, people love her… and her word is gold.

Maybe being a part of Weight Watchers is a part of Oprah’s divine plan where she is called upon to inspire people to eat healthy portions. I hope this is the case. I hope that Oprah’s intentions are aligned with her highest good for herself and others because she is a royal, black goddess. If she hasn’t mastered the lessons of weight-loss-- whatever they maybe—I don’t see how she can teach them to others with integrity. However, if Oprah Winfrey’s primary goal is to be a wealthy mogul and take her fans, followers, and admirers on a journey to nowhere with her…  Naw. Oprah wouldn’t do this. Right?

When I come home from work, I always nearly trip over my son’s shoes in front of the doorway. The only reason, I don’t complain to him about his shoes being in my way is because my shoes are always next to his. I feel like a hypocrite telling my son to move his shoes, since I have not mastered the art of putting my own shoes away.