Why I Cheated-- Love at First Sight

Love at First Sight—Why I Cheated

Cassandra George Sturges

 

I explained to a lady in line at Walmart that I was having some problems getting things to come together. I told her that something was missing and nothing had worked.

She told me about a friend. She said first, I must warn you—be careful because it can be very addictive-- before you know it, you will be looking for every opportunity you can find to get together around the house.

When I first met him, I thought he was cheap looking—definitely not my type. But, I thought, why not—looks can be deceiving and I am desperate.

When I took out his package—I mean when I took him out of the package--I was deeply disappointed and unimpressed.  He was quite small in size.  I thought to myself the lady in Walmart must have been much more desperate than I had ever imagined.

But, since we were already together and nothing else had worked—I squeezed him and out came this gooey, sticky, cloudy substance.

I put it everywhere on everything I could find. When there was nothing left, he cooled off, and I kissed him and thanked him for all of the pleasure that he had bestowed upon my life. We did it in every room in the house, just like the lady in Walmart said we would.

I asked him if he was in a relationship and he said that he was sticking it to millions of people around the world—both men and women. I told him that I didn’t mind sharing him as long as he was available whenever I needed him. 

I told him I was sure that my boyfriend wouldn’t mind—but even if he did mind—I needed him because he had a magic stick like no other man I had ever met.

The Glue gun stole my heart and I am completely and totally addicted. I made action figure dolls out of glue sticks, new nipples for all of my dolls, sunglasses, lips for my dolls, jewelry, and doll shoes. I am always thinking about new things to make and fix with my glue gun.

I bought every glue stick in Walmart over the summer. I used it to make everything I could imagine and then for extra pleasure I painted it and added gemstones.

Luther Ingram sang, a song called, “If Loving You is Wrong-I Don’t Want to be Right,” I finally understand the meaning of that song. If loving the Glue gun is wrong, I don’t want to be right. Lock me up –and throw away the key.