Is it possible for heterosexual people to have best friends
of the opposite gender? If most people were honest about human nature, they
will admit to themselves that opposite sex friendships usually have a murky past. If it is a truly platonic friendship, it is
because one person has made it clear to the other person that being in an
intimate relationship is not an emotional option.
No
matter how many times he assures you that she is just his best friend-- there
is something about her presence in your man's life that makes your heart ache
with jealousy. Why does he have a need to talk to her, text her, hang out with
her? Now that you are in a committed relationship with him -- why does your man
need to remain in communication with another woman who makes him laugh and whom
his family loves? If they were not "just friends" they would make
such a cute couple and this is what bothers you the most.
Now
that you are his girlfriend does he really need to a "female best
friend?" What could his female best friend possibly give him that you
can't? Does he trust and love her more than you? Is she a threat to your
relationship? Does she secretly have a crush on your man? Is she waiting in the
wings to take your place? Who has the most power over your man-you or his
female best friend? Well there are advantages to both relationships depending
on how he truly feels about his female best friend--FBF.
The
advantage of being his wife or girlfriend is that you get to make love to him,
kiss him, see his nude body, go to family functions, attend work-related
events, spend holidays together, set relationship boundaries such as expecting
him to call or come home at certain times of the day.
His
FBF may never get to know him in the intimate way that you do. She may never
know the taste of his kisses, or the way he whispers, "I love you" after
having an orgasm; but her position of power in his life is a lot deeper than a
sexual relationship. Her relationship with your man is not as intense, potent
and rich with passion but this is exactly what gives her the upper hand in your
man's life because she is not having arguments with him fueled by jealousy over
who called, or fights over who left the toilet seat up, drank the last of the
milk without replacing it, splitting the bills, sharing the remote, or in-law
drama.
So
what does his female best friend have to offer him that you can't? -- The most
honest and truest part of his heart and soul. Yes, your man tells his FBF all
the things that he could never, ever, tell you in a million years because it
would break your heart. His FBF is privy to how he really feels about your
body-whether he really thinks you need to lose weight; she knows his truest
intentions for your relationship and all of the other women that he is
attracted to.
An
advantage of being the female best friend is that he will typically ask her
"the female perspective" on important issues such as love including
whether or not he should break up with you, marry you or apologize about the
last argument you had in your relationship. Her ultimate power is that she was
a part of his life before you came and will likely be a part of his life if or
when you leave.
As
long as his female best friend does not have sex with him - she will always
hold a powerful, meaningful position in his life. Sex complicates relationships
because it is an emotional chemical that either bonds or destroys a couple
based on other variables in the relationship. If he is not having sex with his
female best friend this gives him the emotional freedom to share with her the
details about his sex life that he wouldn't even be comfortable discussing with
a male friend.
Can
you really trust this woman that your man confides in and trusts with all of
his little secrets including how he really feels about you? All female best
friends are not a threat to your relationship but herewith listed are...
Signs
that you cannot trust your man's Female Best Friend
1. 1 They have been
friends for less than 2 years.
2. She is the girl that he couldn't sleep with so he settled for "friendship" status.
3. His parents, especially his mother, sisters - women in his family love her!
4. She calls him all the time to do little things for her such as pick up her kids, take her to appointments and fix things around the house.
5. She constantly pulls rank in your interactions with her by reminding you that she was a part of his life before you arrived and that she will be there when you leave.
6. She gets pleasure out of watching you cringe when she favorably talks about his previous girlfriends.
7. You know that his female best friend thinks that he can do better than you.
8. Your man always takes his female best friend's side whenever there is any type of disagreement.
9. She does not have a boyfriend or husband and is not seriously dating or looking for a mate--because she is leaving space open in her life for someone--- your man.
10. You caught your man checking her out when he thought no one was looking.
11. She goes out of her way to wear sexy, provocative clothes whenever she is around your man.
12. She hesitates or shows a slight discomfort with letting you sit in the front seat of the car.
2. She is the girl that he couldn't sleep with so he settled for "friendship" status.
3. His parents, especially his mother, sisters - women in his family love her!
4. She calls him all the time to do little things for her such as pick up her kids, take her to appointments and fix things around the house.
5. She constantly pulls rank in your interactions with her by reminding you that she was a part of his life before you arrived and that she will be there when you leave.
6. She gets pleasure out of watching you cringe when she favorably talks about his previous girlfriends.
7. You know that his female best friend thinks that he can do better than you.
8. Your man always takes his female best friend's side whenever there is any type of disagreement.
9. She does not have a boyfriend or husband and is not seriously dating or looking for a mate--because she is leaving space open in her life for someone--- your man.
10. You caught your man checking her out when he thought no one was looking.
11. She goes out of her way to wear sexy, provocative clothes whenever she is around your man.
12. She hesitates or shows a slight discomfort with letting you sit in the front seat of the car.
These
are signs that your male partner's female best friend is an ally and that you
can trust her.
1.
She respects your relationship by not contacting him constantly over
little things because she know that he is in a serious relationship.
2. She makes it a point to invite you to all functions, parties and events.
3. Your male partner tells you that he is sorry because his female best friend told him that he was wrong and she took your side without having talked to you.
4. Your man feels extremely comfortable bringing you around her and he acts like himself in her presence.
5. She gives off a sister-platonic vibe when she is around your man. She doesn't dress to impress him.
6. She is in a loving, healthy relationship, date or seeking a relationship.
7. They had sex at least 5 years ago and they both have moved past a sexual attraction to the other.
8. She is pleasant and respectful to you over the phone.
9. She introduces you as his wife or girlfriend, not his "date."
2. She makes it a point to invite you to all functions, parties and events.
3. Your male partner tells you that he is sorry because his female best friend told him that he was wrong and she took your side without having talked to you.
4. Your man feels extremely comfortable bringing you around her and he acts like himself in her presence.
5. She gives off a sister-platonic vibe when she is around your man. She doesn't dress to impress him.
6. She is in a loving, healthy relationship, date or seeking a relationship.
7. They had sex at least 5 years ago and they both have moved past a sexual attraction to the other.
8. She is pleasant and respectful to you over the phone.
9. She introduces you as his wife or girlfriend, not his "date."
10. She jumps in the
backseat of the car when he is driving—and would have it no other way.11. She
loves you too. You feel like she is your sister.
12.
She turns down invitations to certain events, functions, and parties—she knows
her place in his life—is after you.
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