What is Marriage--Bill and Hillary Clinton--Let me Explain
By Cassandra George Sturges
My boyfriend and I have been together for twenty years. The
question people ask me the most is- Is he married? Translation: Are you having
an affair with a married man? Are you the other woman? Side Chick? Does he love
you? Why won’t he marry you? Are you not good enough to be his wife? One of my
ex-friends said; you are his Jungle Bunny Concubine Whore,”-- to my face.
Before I defend myself for not marrying again, let me first
tell you what I think marriage is. Marriage is a legal institution of
accountability, trust, dedication, and commitment to another person’s well-being,
dreams, goals, and personal growth. You are also the benefactor of their debt,
tax breaks, success, and failures.
Couples who marry should share the same vision and have the
same basic worldview and values about democracy, religion, and raising
children.
Marriage is like having a child. When you decide to have a child,
you don’t know what that child’s life will be like.
They may have an
intellectual disability or be a genius; they may be straight or gay; they may
be a mass murderer or a spiritual leader—you have no idea. However, when you
choose to buy a ticket to the institution of parenthood—you are taking a vow
and making a commitment to the well-being of another human—to the best of your
ability. It is what it is. No turning back.
I am not saying that you should stay in an emotionally or
physically of abusive marriage. Not at all. But when you find the right person
and the good outweighs the bad—yes, I believe that your commitment to the big
picture should take precedent over minor details.
To me marriage is not about how much you Love a person. Marriage is about how much you Like a person.
I have always said, in my opinion—Hillary and Bill Clinton—have
the perfect marriage. Yes, President Bill Clinton cheated on Hillary with
Monica Lewinsky. But, marriage is not about only being able to love a person who is sexually faithful
to you—marriage is about having a dream so big- that nothing on the outside can
tear it down. This is why it is called the institution of marriage.
I heard rumors that Hillary Clinton dealt with Bill in
private—something this new generation of social media knows nothing about.
Why should she break up her marriage over a blowjob? Why
should Hillary let some meaningless sexual liaison, with an intern destroy all of
the hard work and dedication that it took to build their careers and family—brick-by-brick.
Besides, just between us--shhhhh-- I don't think women who are extremely ambitious and focused on their careers make the best wives. We can be very selfish and self-absorbed.
This is why it is so important for couples to share the same vision for the future that
is so much bigger than the marital relationship—whether it is simply raising
your kids and putting them through college—or becoming president of the United
States.
I think many people think Hillary Clinton was stupid or weak
for staying with President Bill Clinton. I totally disagree, I think only a
woman with high aspirations, integrity, and gritty- guts could possibly have the strength
to remain with her husband who publicly humiliated her.
Hillary saw the big picture. Her, husband was president at
the time. Condemning him publicly was going to hurt a nation of people. I feel
in my spirit she reprimanded him—in private—not for the world to see or hear.
This was none of our business. Unfortunately, men and women cheat on each other
every day. It took less intelligence for President Bill Clinton to cheat; than
the foresight and wisdom that it took for Hillary to forgive him.
Another reason why I am happy that Bill and Hillary Clinton
remained married is because during a divorce all of the dirty details of their
marriage would have been available for public consumption. This would have destroyed both of their legacies. Additionally, I
think they are so much more powerful together as a unit of experience,
education, and wisdom than they would have been apart.
As a divorced woman, I can only speak for myself, but in my opinion
when something that was united is broken a part it leaves both parties bruised
and battered. I think completely healing
from a divorce is almost impossible especially if you really meant it when you
said, “I do.”
The same magnitude of strength that is required to stay
married is the same level of dedication and commitment that is required to run
a country. I have always loved Hillary Clinton.
I don’t think you can find the right person to marry until
you first know who you are and what you want out of life. Even If you find the
right person the relationship will not work until you have deeply accepted who
you are as a human being-- not who you want to be-- or wish to be—but all of
your flaws. When you are able to really appreciate and accept who you are, you
will attract the right person to you.
Because marriage is an institution it comes with a societal
handbook filled with rules, red tape, and expectations whether you like them or
not. Marriage does not belong to the couple. When a couple takes marital vows,
they belong to the institution of marriage and all of its benefits,
liabilities, and expectations.
I know that if I was married, I would not be able to spend
all of my free time making dolls and writing science fiction. There is no
freakin’ way; I would let my husband come home from work to a house without
prepared meals. I would make sure my husband’s laundry is done on schedule,
unlike my own.
Yes, I am not ashamed to say that I have had to buy to new clothes
because my laundry is not done. Why? Because when I am sewing and writing, I am possessed with a creative energy that
makes it hard for me to eat or bathe sometimes. Seriously. I am so deeply enriched and saturated with my
artistic endeavors that sometimes I lose the ability to concentrate on anything
else.
When I first started sewing and writing science fiction, I struggled
with getting to work on time. I am so happy that this creative energy force was
not a part of my life prior to having my children. I would have been a horrible
mom—I am not even sure I would have decided to have children—who are the best
thing that has ever happened to me.
Now I understand why writing and sewing did not become a
part of my life until my late 40s. Now that I am fifty, I can dedicate and
commit myself to my muse’s midnight to 6am play schedule.
I love my boyfriend and I know that he loves me. Nobody
knows what he goes through. Sleeping in between doll heads, body parts, (Mind
you—my Jungle Beauty Goddess characters are life size dolls. The men are taller
than my boyfriend is and he is 6 ‘2. And yes, they are all anatomically correct)
and me getting into bed with cold feet when he is getting up for work.
Marriage is for sane, mature, responsible adults. It is not
for moody, whimsical, beings who need an abundance of playtime alone.
We are sexually faithful and committed to each other. I love
his son and his girlfriend and he loves my children. We have watched each other
grow old, gray, bald, and fat with pleasure.
We not only love each other; we like each other. It has been 20-years of
renewing those vows every single day. I may have been a shitty wife—but I am an
awesome girlfriend.
