Should I choose my Brother or my Best Friend?

Dear Jungle Beauty Goddess Kalahari,

I am a 36-years-old female and my best friend since 6^th grade (who has always had a crush on my brother) is cheating on her husband with my brother. My best friend wants me to cover for her by telling her husband that she is spending the night with me, when in fact she is sleeping at my brother’s place. What bothers me the most is that my brother has confided in me that he is not interested in any long-term relationship with my friend and just wants to fulfill a childhood sexual fantasy. My friend is madly in love with my brother and questions me as to why my brother doesn’t return her phone calls.

I am very close to my brother and my best friend. I don’t want to be in the middle of this mess what should I do?

P. C.

Dear P.C.

Your best friend’s reckless affair with your brother has definitely damaged your friendship with her because it violates the essence of what creates a true friendship. The magic that changes a stranger to a friend is a combination of shared experiences, truths, trust, loyalty and integrity. None of us select our relatives, however, through DNA, genes, and our blood line nature created your biological connection with your brother. 

So no matter what happens, he will always be your brother even when you are disgusted and angry with him. His children, if he has any, will always be your nieces and nephews who deserve your love. Friendship is special, fragile and extremely precious and when you can no longer trust your friend or feel like you are violating your friend’s trust by not revealing how your brother really feel about her, this creates an empty void in the depth of how you communicate with her. A soulful, heart-touching sincerity will be missing in how the two of you communicate with each other.

Back up from both relationships. Tell your friend that you don’t feel comfortable lying to her husband. Tell your friend and your brother that you must refrain from listening to anymore details about their relationship with each other because you love them both and you feel that their relationship violates your own integrity because you are loyal to both of them.

Jungle Beauty Goddess Kalahari, Ruler of the Heart

Transmitted via Cassandra George Sturges