What Men Secretly Want is Southside with You

What Men Secretly Want

“Southside with You” Movie Review

My daughter and I went to see the movie, “Southside with You” a movie about the first date with President Barack Obama and his wife, gorgeous wife, First Lady, Michelle Obama. 

I thought the movie was too short. The actor Parker Sawyers who portrayed President Obama and the beautiful actress, Tika Sumpter , who portrayed  First Lady Michelle Obama did an excellent job capturing the idiosyncrasies  of  the President and First Lady.

The dialogue in the movie is juicy, intelligent, and inspiring. 

My daughter did not want to see the move but enjoyed it very much. She said that the movie made her sad because the universe does not create men like President Obama anymore--men who are willing to woo and fight for a woman’s love and trust. She said men today don’t want a challenge—they just want to sleep with you—not date you. 

And when you deny them sex they give up quickly to pursue the girl who will give him what he wants without a challenge.

One of the lessons that life has taught me is that what men secretly want is a challenge because they are hunters. The mightier the beast, the bigger the game, the more they have to go through to conquer and win their prey-- the deeper they fall in love with who they are as man—and this act of self-love bubbles over into everything  in his life—especially the woman who helped him find and discover the greatness within himself.

Men secretly want a woman who tells him the truth no matter how much it stings because as human beings we all grow, evolve, and learn from each other's truth.

Men secretly want a woman to decline sex early in the relationship so that his heart, his manhood, and his mind can have enough time to align with his truest intentions for  you.

Men secretly want a woman who believes in her own self-worth enough to leave him if he does not prove himself to be worthy of her love. People have a tendency to abuse and misuse things that they don’t feel like they deserve.

Men secretly want a woman who honors, supports, and respects the highest version of who he is as a man regardless of the his financial status. He wants a woman to see the wealth in his character, not his bank account as this was beautifully illustrated on the first date of President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama in the movie “SouthSide of You.”  

Life Hack Secret to Success Part 1

Secret to Success

How to be Successful in life --Part 1 

Every one will tell you their secret to success and what techniques and strategies they used to get there. My advice is a little twisted-- and some even say a little dark and soul-shattering.  What I am about to tell you is not the norm, it’s not the traditional feel-good philosophy telling you that you need to be more organized, write perfect goals, create a dream box/ vision board, or manage your time better. These are all great resources and skills to have, but this is not how you make your dreams come true—at least not in my opinion.

Making your dreams come true is all about mental toughness. It is not about talent, beauty, money, I.Q. scores, rich parents, who you know or who you sleep with (ask Monica Lewinsky).  Once you are able to control how you think and feel this will automatically lead you into changing your behavior. Changing your behavior, changes your actions and changing your actions is what changes your life that ultimately lead to making your dreams come true.

 Secret to Success Rule # 1

Only listen to the God inside of you. There is a very, very, very, quiet, subtle voice inside of you that knows what is right and wrong for you. No one else can hear this voice and this voice is not argumentative or demanding which is why many people can not hear it. I am still learning to pay attention to this voice- and this voice alone. I have made some of the biggest mistakes and achieved the greatest successes in my life because of this voice. Something told me not to follow the boy in my 8^th grade class, behind the church who then raped me. 

Something told me to attend California Coast University, although everyone begged me not to because it is a long distance learning institution without the same prestige as a traditional university.  I listened to the quiet voice and I was selected from hundreds of applications because the chairperson from my department had earned the same degree from the same school. 

I don’t care what the bible says, I don’t care what the Koran says, I don’t care what the priest says, I don’t care what the preacher, your momma or your daddy says. You listen to God. He will never ever lead you wrong. Her only agenda, in my opinion, is for you to share and express the unique gifts and talents that She has given you with the world in a manner that brings joy, happiness and prosperity to you and others.

How do you know it’s God Voice? It’s not pushy or demanding. God gave us free will. It is not judgmental. God loves us unconditionally. Ask your self these questions: Will my actions hurt, humiliate, or shame someone else? Will my actions take away someone else’s free-will or ability to choose their own path of happiness and joy?  Most importantly, ask yourself, do I want this to happen to me or someone I love dearly?

Secret to Success Rule # 2

Take every negative comment, person and experience in your life and use them as fuel to add to the fire inside your soul that will drive you to your dreams. Many people use their negative experiences as their excuses to fail. They blame their parents’ alcohol abuse, their uncaring teachers; verbally and physically abuse family members and their daddy who was never home. After completing my GED, the admissions counselor at the community college looked me directly in my eyes and told me that I was not college material and that I should enroll in a cosmetology school because it was obvious from my appearance that I loved make up. My mouth dropped. 

I could not believe that this woman was telling me this to my face. Yes, granted I failed all of my classes in high school due to lack of attendance, my clothes were maybe a little too revealing (okay a lot) and I still love navy-royal blue eye-shadow and way-too-much-eyeliner and mascara, but what the hell did that have to do with my desire to attend and succeed academically at a community college to improve my life?


I wish that I could remember this admission counselor’s name because I want to thank her for putting the first and biggest piece of coal in the fire of my soul that led me to earn 5 college degrees. 


My first semester at the community college, I had no idea on how to take notes during a lecture, write a research paper or study for a test. But, every thought of that admissions counselor telling me that I was not college material, inspired me to work harder and remain focused, because I had no desire or talent to be anybody’ make-up artist. Whenever I would become frustrated and wanted to give up,  I would see the admissions counselors face in my imagination and I would look directly back into her eyes and say, “Look b ****t @#$%%, I am the master of my dreams--not you”  I am half kidding.

Sincerely I would say to her, “You are wrong. I can do whatever I want to do with my life. How dare you tell me what I can or can not do with my life! Who do you think you are?! You don’t know me. You don’t define me.  I define me.” Whenever, I felt like giving up or not studying a little longer, I thought about this woman. I realized that it didn’t matter what she thought about me (she thought nothing of me), what mattered most to me is what I thought about myself. The only way I could disappoint her was by succeeding. I decided that the last person that I ever wanted to let down – was my self.

There will always be people in your life telling you what you are cable and not cable of doing or being. But you have the final say. You take every negative experience in your life to motivate you. Spare the world your sad sob story for failing, becoming an alcoholic or abusing drugs because of the negative people and experiences in your life. Your story will only be interesting, fun and intriguing when you are able to overcome your obstacles. 

 Secret to Success Rule # 3

Have a clear picture in your mind of what you do not want, and do the opposite. I was never lucky enough to know what I wanted to do with my life. If you asked me what I wanted to be or do with my life, I couldn’t tell you, but I could definitely tell you what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to work in the food industry because I don’t like to get dirty. I didn’t want to work in the medical field in any capacity because I don’t like to get dirty or be in the vicinity of a dead or dying body. I didn’t want to work in an auto plant or factory because I want to wear high-heel pumps and panty-hose, plus I didn’t want to break a nail.

I didn’t want to teach small children, because I am too immature and I would insist on taking the red lollipop which is my favorite; and I lack the ability to give them the structure and discipline they need because I would be on the floor laughing. Kids are too cute and too funny for me to be the type of teacher they need to excel academically. I want to be financially independent. I earn a very good salary, but I still want to be able to call the shots in my life.


Whenever, I started to lag in school, I knew that I was becoming exactly what I didn’t want to be, because the only careers that would be available to me without the proper credentials are many of the things that I absolutely did not want to do. Keep a mental picture in your mind’s eye of where you will be 3, 5, 7, 10 years down the line based on your behavior today. Maybe you don’t know what you want to do and that is perfectly okay. 

But make sure that you know what you don’t want to do and use each day to move in the opposite direction. Take a variety of classes to find out what likes and dislikes are. Well-meaning people are going to pressure you to pick a major. Don’t rush into paying for a degree in a field that you aren’t sure about. Knowing what you don’t like can lead and inspire you in the direction of doing what you do like.

By Cassandra George Sturges MA, MA, Psy.D

Stop Motion Animation Action Figure Doll Made out of Glue Sticks

 Stop Motion Animation Action Figure Doll Made out of Glue Sticks


I had so much fun making this stop motion animation action figure doll out of glue sticks, wire, and acrylic gems. It is fully poseable. Life doesn't get any better than this.

I kid you not, my glue gun literally caught on fire. Instead of being afraid, I felt like a gangster crafter. Using the glue gun is addictive.

 Cassandra George Sturges

Life Lessons- Ask your Soul What is Missing

Life Lessons

How to age Gracefully Tip # 4

Ask Your Soul what it would like to experience. What is missing in your life?

By Cassandra George Sturges

 

It’s never too late to change jobs, go back to school, start your own business, join a club, or try out for a team. Look within your heart and ask yourself, what would I like to do that I haven’t done before—before I leave this body?

Aging gracefully is not about the quantity of how long we have lived on this planet; aging gracefully is about the quality of the life that we have lived unabashedly, without shame, and without regret.

You don’t have to quit your job. Start small. I think that the “all or nothing” and “go big or go home” philosophy has stopped so many people from living their dream life. Whatever it is that you want to do, my unsolicited advice to you is to first—google what you want to do. 

Read about it. Learn how other people got started. Look at pictures. After you are finished looking at images, reading articles, watching YouTube videos and taking meticulous notes—do one small act towards your dream.

Don't spend too much time trying to figure out how to accomplish your goal because it is so easy to become intimidated by the all the overwhelming information and the success of others. When I decided to start making tutorials, I was intimidated by the success of you-tubers who started years ago and who are still young enough to be my children.

You can take in too much information to the point, where you don't feel "good enough" or that everything has already been done and said. Just learn enough to get started. After you have completed a portion of your goal-- then go back and learn some more information. Going for your dream is a delicate dance between learning new information and applying what you have learned.

Let’s say you want to write a book. If you write one sentence a night—you will still be much further along than you were last year.

 Last thing, I want to say about getting started on completing unfulfilled goals and dreams—please don’t tell anyone. I don’t know why…I don’t know what the spiritual law is… but I have found that when I want to achieve a goal it works best when I keep it to myself and share the completed results with others.

DIY Crafts Project Tutorial How to Make Lace up Thigh High Platform Gladiator Doll Boots

 DIY Crafts Project How to Make Lace up Thigh High Platform Gladiator Doll  Boots

By, Cassandra George Sturges

 

In this DIY Craft project tutorial, I am showing you how I made Thigh High,  Lace up, gladiator boots for my doll.

What’s interesting about these thigh high lace up, gladiator boots is that I only made them because I accidentally made two left shoes for another doll.

I didn’t want to waste the acrylic gemstones and faux pearl fillers that I used to create the chunky wedge heel.  The other thing is that it take me 2 ½ hours to make one freakin’ heel.

 

So, I decided to do something whimsical, sexy, and over-the-top with the wedge heel. I didn’t know if my ideal for a lace up, thigh high, gladiator type boot would work. 

Honeyyyyyy, but when I made the one boot, I felt inspired to make the right boot. And I fell in love.

I hope you enjoy this tutorial.

Life Lessons Learned- Ask Your Body What it Needs

Life Lessons Learned:  How to age Gracefully Tip # 3

Ask Your Body What it Needs—and Listen to How it Feels

By,Cassandra George Sturges

The mass media saturates us daily with promises of eternal youth if we purchase new exercise equipment, diets, pills, surgeries, and magic slim-down-no-stomach potions. And if you don’t want to lose weight, surely you want to get rid of wrinkles, grow new hair, and/ or remove age-spots. These commercials are followed by why you should increase your insurance policies and plan your funeral. Society forbade you to age gracefully.

I used to ride an exercise bike for one hour every day. I didn't know that doing this was deteriorating  my knee joints. I didn’t want to admit it to myself that I could barely walk up and downstairs. One day I just got super honest with myself and said, “Hey you, if you are around another 30 to 50-years if you are lucky—you will be in a wheel chair. If you want to be able to use those knees…and I know you do… you need to find another type of exercise.”

Not only have I have come to the conclusion, that certain exercises are not good for my body at this juncture in my life; I have also learned that there are several foods that no longer agree with my digestive system. Additionally, I have discovered that I can’t eat before I go to bed because it affects my sleep. When I was younger, I could eat whatever I wanted-- whenever I wanted to eat with no negative consequences.

Now that I am fifty, my body demands being pampered. She wants enough sleep, breakfast in the morning, and vitamins. My body enjoys hula-hooping, yoga for beginners, and naps. She insists on reading not just self-help, non-fiction, and current events like in the past—she indulges in fictitious erotic romance novels and suspense thrillers.

Don’t listen to what other people are telling you to do to be healthier—what they did worked for their body type. Every person’s body is different. It has a different DNA design and history of usage. Listen carefully and respectfully to your body and it will tell you what it needs to be healthy and vibrant.