Quitting a job is not an easy decision to make but here is a
plan that will make your boss weep, long sorrowful tears of regret as well as
attract a better paying job. This good advice is a guaranteed successful method
on How to Quit Your Job in a way
that your boss will never forget.
~~~
Jungle Beauty Goddess Chalbi, Ruler of Death, Change, & New
Beginnings
Via the Imagination of Cassandra George Sturges
For Entertainment
Purposes Only
Dear Jungle Beauty Goddess Chalbi,
Quitting a job is not an easy decision when so many people
are unemployed. However, I think that it
is time for me to quit my job because my boss is getting on my last nerve and I
don’t want to strangle her and / or go to jail for murder. My co-workers are a
bunch of back-stabbing liars, and I am two seconds from slapping the bitch in
the next cubicle.
I have used up all of my sick days and vacation time from
calling off every chance I can get. I
don’t want to quit my job gracefully, I want to quit it in a way that will make
them regret the way they have treated me for the 7 years that I have dedicated
my life to working for this company.
What is the best way for me to quit my job and stick it to
my boss? When I get my new job, I am not even
going to call in. I am just not going to show up and let my boss figure it out
for herself. She can stick this job, you-know-where. I don’t have
another job lined up, but I am not worried because once I quit my job, I will
have the time I need to find a new job.
P.S. I am not kissing up or anything –but Jungle Beauty Goddess Chalbi , you are my favorite sister. I know you will give me advice that will make them cry in their morning coffee when I leave.
Sincerely,
Take This Job and Shove It
Dear Take This Job and Shove It,
1. Come to work 30 minutes to one hour earlier than usual. Better yet, beat your boss to work. Even if you cannot punch in the time clock find something useful to do such as pick up litter, clean the bathroom or office area or anything that needs to be done that will improve the atmosphere in your workplace. It doesn't matter if this is a part of your job description; make yourself useful and productive.
2. Leave late. Don't watch the clock...stay until everything is done to pure perfection. Ask your colleagues if they need any help closing down for the day. Even if you need to punch out of the time clock, go out of your way to make sure that everything that needs to be done is completed beyond your job description. Help that last customer. Fold one more pair of jeans. Wash that last dish. Clean off the counter. Look around and make sure that everything looks nice and that no one needs help before you walk out of the door.
3. Ask your boss the following questions: Is there anything that I can do for you to make your job easier? Is there any area of which I need improvement so that I can be more effective on my job? What can I do to do more work is less time? Ask these questions from the bottom of your heart and mean it. No matter what assignment your boss give you, do it to the absolute best of your ability with a positive attitude. Try to find a way to do a better job than your boss could have ever imagined.
Who are the Jungle Beauty Goddesses?
Why did they come to Earth? Read their Story!
4. Find a niche job that most people either hate or are not capable of doing and become the go-to-expert. If people hate cleaning the bathrooms, you clean them with a spit-shine. If people hate dealing with difficult customers you turn those meanies into purring pussycats. If people hate doing paper work; you offer to file, organize or write any copy that your company needs to be prepared. Find out what you are good at and become the best at it.
5. Be innovative. Find a need and fill it. Does your company need a form that is less confusing? Create it. Is there a faster more efficient way to service customers? Do it. Do you have an idea for a new product, technology or service that will make more money for your company? Write a plan that describes your technique and submit it to the appropriate people. Great ideas are invaluable resources.
6. Always have a positive attitude- no matter what your boss or co-workers say to you! Smile and say today is a wonderful day and really mean it. Cry in the shower before coming to work, but make a promise to yourself that once you are out of the shower that all of your negative thoughts and doubts were washed down the drain for that day. Never say anything negative about your company, boss or colleagues. Information always has a way of coming full-circle. If the only positive thought that you can muster is "Thank God that I have a job and I know where my next dime is coming from." Be grateful and focus on what is positive in your life.
7. Increase your marketability. Take a class, read a book or learn a new skill about your current job or another field that interests you. Take a good, honest look at yourself and determine if a degree or certificate would help you become more valuable. Each time you learn something new your brain structure changes. You become wiser, smarter and therefore more capable of analyzing complex information. Don't ever forget the old cliché--Knowledge is Power.
8. Be a team player. Go out of your way to create and build harmony with your co-workers. Ask them how you could be of assistance to them as a department co-worker or work-team. Let them know that their success is your success because when the company looks good, all of you look good individually and collectively. Don't be a push over, but lead by example and show your colleagues through your actions and words how a positive work environment builds morale and productivity.
9. Assess your work habits. Do you come in late? Are you a procrastinator? Are you easily irritated by customers? Do you have antagonist relationships with your co-workers? Do you call in frequently? Are you reliable? Be honest with yourself, would you want to hire someone like you for your own company?
10. Update your resume and look for a new job after going through steps 1-9. Don't run away from your current employer. Don't run away from low wages or unfair treatment. Run to a new job because you are “The Bomb!" The Stuff, and all-of-that-and-a-bag-of-chips. No new employer wants to hear your sad-sob story about why you hate or disliked your job. A new employer wants you to give examples of how you were an asset to your previous job. They want to know what skills you have to offer. They want to know what you can bring to the table that is not already being served by someone else at their company.
Your positive attitude, strong work ethic, and integrity will eventually put you in a position to obtain a better paying job with a wonderful boss who deserves an excellent employee like yourself. When you receive your new job offer--and you will--give your boss the appropriate notice. Leave with class, grace, and dignity with a smile on your face.
Being a class act will make your boss sorry to lose you and maybe think about how difficult it would be to replace such an excellent employee. Not only your boss, but people in general, only miss things that add value to their lives. Not someone who is an undependable pain in the neck. Now this is how to quit your job properly and gracefully so everyone will weep in their morning coffee!
Sincerely,
Jungle Beauty Goddess Chalbi
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