Do you know what the secret is to removing low-self-esteem? Is it a magic potion found in cosmetics, hair dye, or diet pills? Do you remove low-self-esteem in a yoga pose, a gym or the latest weight loss plan? Whether you have high or low-esteem is determined by how you—not your husband, not your friends, not society—but how “you”--feel about you.
When do we ever learn to love and accept ourselves? How many people do we need to say that we are beautiful for us to believe it? How many opinions does it take to validate our own self-worth for us to believe that we are valuable human beings? How many times do we have to hear that we are beautiful, successful, wonderful creatures for us to own it? Who has to say it for us to know that it is true? We do. We must validate our own beauty, our own self-esteem and our own self-worth. No one owes us. We owe ourselves.
For the most part, the majority of people are as screwed up as we are. They are searching outside of themselves for what is inside of their souls. The person who is 5’7’ and 104 pounds wish they were ten pounds bigger and curvier like their best friend. The friend weighting 114 pounds wishes she were 10 pounds thinner like her 104-pound friend. The blond beauty dyes her hair brunette and the brunette bombshell dyes her hair blond thinking that true beauty is the right shade in a bottle of hair dye.
The tall girl wears flat shoes so that she appears shorter and the short girl wears 5 inch heels so that she can appear taller. The person you envy envies someone else who she thinks is much more attractive than she is. When is it okay to accept the body you were born with? When and under what circumstances will this body be good enough for you? How many pounds do you need to lose to get to the core of your real beauty?
What shades of hair are you looking for that will give you the beauty that you so desperately seek? What’s the magic number that will make you perfect? How many pounds do you need to lose to be really gorgeous? Who do you think you need to look like to be beautiful? Why do you think this person is more attractive than you? What’s wrong with you the way you are? No matter who you think of as being extraordinarily attractive, somebody won’t agree with you. So why not claim your own unique divine beauty!
Many people died today because their bodies were not healthy enough to carry their souls on earth. These people would give anything—anything—to be able to hug their child one more time, tell their mate that they love them just one more time, or merely watch a sunset one more time. They would gladly take your body. Appreciate your body it is your soul’s only source of transportation on earth.
One of the most important things that you can do to improve your confidence and self-esteem is to stop comparing yourself with people on televisions sitcoms, big screen movies, and fashion magazines. Look at the people in your community, at the grocery store, malls, schools, doctor’s office these are the lovely people who make the world go round. These are people who have not been airbrushed and their image is not projected from an angle of a camera. The secret to eliminating low self-esteem is to simply stop comparing yourself to anyone and appreciate your life.
By, Cassandra George Sturges, Psy. D, MA, MA
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