Your Boyfriend’s Best Friend is a Woman--Can You Trust Her

The advantage of your boyfriend or husband having a best friend who happens to be a woman is that he will typically ask her "the female perspective" on important issues such as love and relationships… including whether or not he should break up with you, marry you, or apologize about the last argument you had in your relationship.  A woman best friend’s ultimate power is that she was a part of your boyfriend or husband’s life before you came and will likely be a part of his life --if or when you leave. If she is your ally you have got it made. However, if she is your enemy… watch your back.

~~~

Dear Jungle Beauty Goddess Kalahari, 

No matter how many times my boyfriend assures me that she is just his best friend-- there is something about her presence in my man's life that makes my heart ache with jealousy. Why does he have a need to talk to her, text her, hang out with her? Now that I am in a committed relationship with him -- why does he need to remain in communication with another woman who makes him laugh; and worst of all-- his family adores her?
I know that they have been best friends since middle school and now we are all in our late twenties, I am very uncomfortable with this relationship. To be honest with you, if they were not "just best friends" they would make such a cute couple and this is what bothers me the most.

Now that my boyfriend has me-- does he really need a "woman for his best friend?" What could she possibly give him that I can't? Does he trust and love her more than me? Is she a threat to our relationship? Does she secretly have a crush on my man? Is she waiting in the wings to take my place? Who has the most emotional power over my man me or his female best friend?

Sincerely,

Do not Trust His Female Best Friend

Jungle Beauty Goddess Kalahari -  Inspirational Life Story

Ruler of the Heart, Love, & Relationships

Via the Imagination of Cassandra George Sturges

Entertainment Purposes Only

Dear Do Not Trust His Female Best Friend:

Well there are advantages to both relationships depending on how he truly feels about his female best friend--FBF.

The advantage of being his wife or girlfriend is that you get to make love to him, kiss him, see his nude body, go to family functions, attend work-related events, spend holidays together, set relationship boundaries such as expecting him to call or come home at certain times of the day.

His FBF may never get to know him in the intimate way that you do. She may never know the taste of his kisses, or the way he whispers, "I love you" after having an orgasm; but her position of power in his life is a lot deeper than a sexual relationship. Her relationship with your man is not as intense, potent and rich with passion but this is exactly what gives her the upper hand in your man's life because she is not having arguments with him fueled by jealousy over who called, or fights over who left the toilet seat up, drank the last of the milk without replacing it, splitting the bills, sharing the remote, or in-law drama.

So what does his female best friend have to offer him that you can't? -- The most honest and truest part of his heart and soul. Yes, your man tells his FBF all the things that he could never, ever, tell you in a million years because it would break your heart. His FBF is privy to how he really feels about your body-whether he really thinks you need to lose weight; she knows his truest intentions for your relationship, and all of the other women that he is attracted to.

An advantage of being the FBF is that he will typically ask her "the female perspective" on important issues such as love including whether or not he should break up with you, marry you, or apologize about the last argument you had in your relationship. Her ultimate power is that she was a part of his life before you came and will likely be a part of his life if or when you leave.

As long as his FBF does not have sex with him - she will always hold a powerful, meaningful position in his life. Sex complicates relationships because it is an emotional chemical that either bonds or destroys a couple based on other variables in the relationship. If he is not having sex with his FBF this gives him the emotional freedom to share with her the details about his sex life that he wouldn't even be comfortable discussing with a male friend.

Can you really trust this woman that your man confides in and trusts with all of his little secrets including how he really feels about you? All FBFs are not a threat to your relationship but herewith listed as to whether you can trust or not trust his best friend who happens to be a woman.

Signs that you Cannot Trust Your Man's Female Best Friend:

1.  They have been friends for less than 2 years.

2.  She is the girl that he couldn't sleep with so he settled  for "friendship" status. 

3. His parents, especially his mother, sisters - women in his family love her! 

4. She calls him all the time to do little things for her such as pick up her kids, take her to appointments and fix things around the house.

5. She constantly pulls rank in your interactions with her by reminding you that she was a part of his life before you arrived and that she will be there when you leave.

6. She gets pleasure out of watching you cringe when she favorably talks about his previous girlfriends.

7. You know that his female best friend thinks that he can do better than you.

8. Your man always takes his FBF's side whenever there is any type of disagreement.

9. She does not have a boyfriend or husband and is not seriously dating or looking for a mate--because she is leaving space open in her life for someone else--- your man.

10. You caught your man checking her out when he thought no one was looking.

11. She goes out of her way to wear sexy, provocative clothes whenever she is around your man.

12. She hesitates or shows a slight discomfort with letting you sit in the front seat of the car.

These are signs that your Boyfriend’s female best friend is an ally and that you can trust her:

1. She respects your relationship by not contacting him constantly over little things because she knows that he is in a serious relationship.

2. She makes it a point to invite you to all functions,   parties and events.

3. Your male partner tells you that he is sorry because his female best friend told him that he was wrong and she took your side without having talked to you.

4. Your man feels extremely comfortable bringing you around her and he acts like himself in her presence.

5. She gives off a sister-platonic vibe when she is around your man. She doesn't dress to impress him.

6. She is in a loving, healthy relationship, dating, or seeking a relationship.

7. They had sex at least 5 years ago and they both have moved past a sexual attraction to the other.

8. She is pleasant and respectful to you over the phone.

9. She introduces you as his wife or girlfriend, not his "date."

10. She jumps in the backseat of the car when he is driving—and would have it no other way.

11. She loves you too. You feel like she is your sister.

12. She turns down invitations to certain events, functions, and parties—she knows her place in his life—is after you.

Sincerely,

Jungle Beauty Goddess Kalahari

The Jungle Beauty Goddesses advice column offer words of wisdom and encouragement, inspirational and motivational life stories, quotes, videos, images and pictures.  Most inspiring daily motivation short stories, quotes, and sayings.

Motivational Quotes and Video for Successful Entrepreneurs

Motivational videos, quotes and words of encouragement for entrepreneurs.

Jungle Beauty Goddess Afar, Ruler of Creativity, Originality, Imagination and Inner Child

Via the Imagination of Cassandra George Sturges

For Entertainment Purposes Only

Dear Jungle Beauty Goddess Afar,

I want to be a successful entrepreneur--but I don’t know where to start. In the past, whenever I would get an idea for a new business the first thing that I would do is order new business cards.  After I receive the business cards in the mail, I pass them out to family and friends. After this step nothing else happens that would seriously label me as having a profitable business.

I am working full-time at a job where I make decent money and I don’t have any children --so it’s easy for me to give up on dedicating myself to my new business. When I go to work and do my job I get a pay check. I feel like I am an entrepreneur at heart because every time I get a business idea... a few years later I see someone else establishing a prosperous business with my exact idea.

The truth is I have a hard time dealing with rejection. People can be so cruel. What I hate the most is that when I initially start a business most of my family and friends are on board helping out, but after the newness wears off—I am completely on my own.

I need some motivation. Do you have any motivational tips that can help get my creative juices flowing?

Sincerely,

Don’t Know How to Finish What I Start

Dear Don’t Know How to Finish What I Start,

Staying the course on a new business venture is a skill that many humans lack because most of their life has been completely mapped out for them. You are born into a social structure that tells you what to think about and learn from preschool through college. Creating a new business is a venture that requires the ability convince the world that it needs a product or service that doesn’t already exist in its social structure. Learning how to be creative is a skill set that is not developed in your educational system because everyone is taught to think alike and search for the correct answer that was already given.

1. Use whatever resources that are available to you. Start where you are. With today’s technology there is absolutely no excuse for not seriously pursuing your dreams. You can open a virtual store on E-bay, Etsy, PayPal, and E-junkie and there are hundreds of more sites on the web where you can sell products, as well as build an audience.

2. Learn what the rules are before you can learn to twist and break them to your advantage. Don't re-invent the wheel. Learn what others have done. This will save you money and time. Benefit from their mistakes and triumphs.

3. Come in through the back door. The front entrance is crowed with people just like you. Think of ways to come through the back door of your dreams. The Underground Railroad led many African Americans to freedom. Many people have self-published and distributed their own books. Think of new, creative ways to make your dreams come true.

Who are the Jungle Beauty Goddesses? 

Why did they come to earth? 

Read their Story! Only $3.99

4. Don't expect anyone to help especially in the beginning stages of a new project. Once you prove that you are committed to your ideal, others will follow suit. You need to be your own number one fan and cheering squad.

5. Don't talk away your dreams. Each time you talk about what you are going to do, you dilute the potency of your energy towards your goal. Don't put your life force energy into talking about your dreams. Use your passion to fuel your actions toward your goal. Don't talk about it, be about it! Do it! Period.

6. If you don't have a written business plan, you are just talking and letting off steam. If you are serious about your dream WRITE IT DOWN! If you can't organize the idea so that you or someone else can articulate it in writing, people who may be interested cannot take you seriously. This is like going to a restaurant where there is no menu. The wait person is telling you all about the great meals that are available, but most of us would still want to see a written menu so that we could compare and contrast and make a delicious selection. So when you have a great idea, move your idea to the next level by writing down (creating a business plan, there are several books in any major book store) or paying someone to create a business plan for you.

7. Don't be quick to believe in the compliments or criticisms of other people. If you give people the power to build you up, you have also given them the power to destroy you as well. Listen to the quiet voice within yourself. Let the God in you guide your life.

8. Don't copy the styles of others. It is impossible to beat someone at their own game. No one can be a better you than you. You are the patented copy signed by the universe. When you emulate others you lose your edge, uniqueness and special ingredient to be authentically successful and beautiful.

9. Attach yourself to your effort and detach yourself from the outcome. This means, you can control writing a blog everyday—but you cannot control how many people will read it or like. You can write a play—but you cannot control how many people come to see it. Your expectations of what should happen can destroy your happiness and dissolve your self-esteem. Be proud of yourself for trying. Be proud of yourself for not talking about what you could have been or should have been, but what you were courageous enough to do with your life. Be proud of yourself for living life to the fullest and let the chips fall where they may.

10. You have nothing better to do than pursue you own happiness. Don't just let life happen to you. I understand that you have bills and responsibilities, but if you don't do something today to change your life-- 10 years from this moment you are still going to have a life of filled with bills and responsibilities unless you do something different to change your life.

11. Barriers are really self-created excuses. Don't tell yourself why you can't follow your dreams such as not having enough time or money. Every day look for creative ways to manifest your dreams no matter how small the steps are. Look for things that you can eliminate or increase right now that will help you accomplish your goals. You can remove excuses anytime you feel like it. You are a powerful human being.

12. Take action. Your behavior is the truest indicator of what you really think about yourself and what you are willing to accept out of life. You know the truth. You know that if you really, really wanted to change you could. But for some reason you are comfortable where you are. Each time that you find yourself not reaching for your goal while watching television or socializing on Facebook, gently and lovingly ask yourself "Why, am I allowing my life to flow in this direction?"

I wish I could tell you that there is a Jeannie-in-a-bottle that is waiting for your command to make your dream come true. I wish I could tell that it is simple and easy to live the life of your dreams. But I would be lying to you. The only magic is in your actions and efforts. You are the motor of your dream mobile. You are the breath that gives your dreams life. Without your perseverance and action, nothing will happen. Dreams do not create themselves. Sorry.

  

The Jungle Beauty Goddesses advice column offer words of wisdom and encouragement, inspirational and motivational life stories, quotes, videos, images and pictures.  Most inspiring daily motivation short stories, quotes, and sayings.